The Rest of my life. Not.
'Never Take Life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyways.'
Well its certainly been a hectic and testing couple of days. School starts again tomorrow and I feel thoroughly refreshed from my four day weekend and ready to take on year 12. Yesterday was quite the interesting day and although its probably best not to judge or vent at this point, it was a day of absolute epic proportions. No it wasn't a life changing experience, it wasn't something that would affect how I see things (although that was the purpose of the day) it was rather a waste of a perfectly good free day.
You see, on a great spring morning, a Saturday to be precise, I was under the illusion that I was going to a Business course. Got up early because apparently I had "register" for the whole thing and then all would just follow through. How wrong could I have been.
What the so called "business" course turned out to be was one of those "Plan Your Life" courses by which you look at the outcomes and goals of your life and change them so that you live life to the optimum. You have no idea how annoyed and frustrated I was at that point in time. I learnt that my Mum had paid $60 for the seminar as well and this only served to further annoy the living daylights out of me. To be fair I hadn't had enough sleep and I wasn't in the best of moods but FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, I spent EIGHT hours of my life listening to absolute crap about how life should be planned.
Which brings me to this. Why in the WORLD would you want to plan your life? Isn't the mystery and journey of life the things that make it that more interesting? That little bit more exciting? Hell, you may lose some trust, form some regrets but everyone has those. Why be different? Why is it so necessary for me to set such absurd goals to work towards and seemingly force myself towards it. A major line that came out of the course was "Do not feel you Have to do it, actually Want it." How are we supposed to do that? I'm in High school, I'm about to do the HSC in a year or so, I have a life with its ups and most certainly its downs and I'm supposed to decide what I WANT? What I decide for myself? Call me stupid, call me an idiot, call me a sour grape for all I care, but this is the REASON I am a pessimist when it comes to hopes and dreams. My philosophy (and I'm not trying to force this on anyone) is that I always expect the worst. If it ends up being bad, then so be it, I didn't elevate myself up to such expectations and hence did not have the momentum to crash and burn. It turns out good, a prospect worthwhile to my day, to my life even, then its a bonus: a happy moment. I fail to see the benefits, the personal and mental enhancements that can come out of a course that teaches you how to plan your life. For me it's riding along and taking what comes, if I want something then naturally I'll work towards it. But planning? Intuitively deciding how I should live the next 15 years of my life? Thats pathetic.
I'm probably so disgusted by the whole process because of the time wasted and money wasted for that matter. It just shocks me that people hold so much belief, I guess sometimes its the only thing they have. I shudder at the thought of those who have crashed and burned that much harder and that much stronger due to such useless courses such as this. So much for learning about Business. The only thing I learnt was that some people can make money by teaching crap like that. Big thanks to Sarz for helping me get through the whole thing with her messages and the long phonecall. Thanks heaps Mahjong, retarded and infected princess, meant a lot to me.
The only thing I'm "planning" for is to do the HSC; study and a bit of fun in the process. It's simple and I don't have to set it out as if its a railroad to success which it most certainly isn't. Sometimes life should have its goals, but whats the fun in forcing yourself onto a path, whats the fun in that?
On another sour note, had 4U tution today and I'm scared. It's actually quite...well you'll find out when you do it or when someone starts bitching to you about it, might even be me doing it.
posted by Ben李 @ 10:31 pm
Comments: 1
